6 Ways to Overcome a Breakup: How To Move On After a Breakup?

Breakup is a Painful Process it Takes Time to Heal

Most of the people in the world go through a breakup in their lives. Breakups are always unhealthy and challenging. Breakups can bring a remarkable change in your life. In these awful days of life, all you want to do is lie down on the bed cover your head with a pillow, and cry..

Evita Limon-Rocha, MD an adult psychiatrist explains breakups in words.

“Breakups are so challenging. They can signify a change in roles and routine, and even cause one to question their values or who they are, acknowledging your feelings and normalizing the variety of emotions experienced in this process is key in allowing yourself to heal.”

If you’re going through a breakup and you don’t know how to deal with this situation, then you are on the right path. You may be drowning your sorrows with food or drinks. Or you could blame yourself for everything that went wrong. Here are some ways that can help you tackle your heartache better.

1. Be Ready for Mixed Feelings

Breakups can be chaotic, especially when it comes to our feelings and emotions. Keep in mind that it is normal to feel a wide range of emotions. You can feel sadness, resentment, jealousy, regret and relief. 

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross says on Grief:

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it”

All these feelings are part of the grieving and healing process. Sadness and regret are part of your healing process. You have to experience feeling without judgment. You have to face your feelings bravely because avoiding your feelings can also become a cause of intimacy. If you do not accept your feelings it can sneak up on you in an unexpected way. Keep in mind that times of grief and stress will not remain forever. The time of distressing feelings will go away and will become less concerning for you. Remember that your pain will not last forever it will end soon.

Lori Gottlieb on Emotional Processing:

“It’s important to acknowledge that conflicting emotions are a natural part of healing. Therapy can provide a safe space to process these mixed feelings and find clarity” (Gottlieb, 2019)

2. Get Rid Of Reminders of Your Ex

When you are going through a breakup the first and most important thing you have to do is to clean your apartment and room from all the memories of your ex. You have to purge your house from all the reminders of your ex. Pash writes these feelings in the most effective words.

“Sometimes people need to cut that person off for a period of time to heal. This might look like putting up firm boundaries, removing them from your social media, and making it clear to friends and family that you don’t want to talk about them until you’re ready to talk about it,”

Get Rid of Physical Memories

It is hard to move on immediately after a breakup if you still have your ex’s picture or other memories on the nightstand. Removing reminders from your ex can be helpful.

Getting rid of their memories doesn’t mean that you have to burn their belongings. It also does not mean that you have to throw all memories in the street but you have to box and lock these items up forever. If you want to return anything to your ex then do it without wasting your time. This will help you to forget them as soon as possible. Gary Lewandowski writes on Letting Go of Physical Reminders:

“Clearing out physical reminders of your ex can help you emotionally detach and make space for new experiences and memories” (Lewandowski, 2015).

Get Rid of Social Media and Digital Mementos

After getting rid of physical memory you have to get rid of social media memories. you have to remove your ex from your social media accounts. You have to remove your curiosity about your ex’s updates on social media because it can be painful for you if you see your ex with a new partner. You must have to block them from seeing your stories or updates on social media accounts. The fewer connections the easier will be to forget your ex.

Gary Lewandowski gives his opinion on Digital Detox:

“Removing digital mementos and disconnecting from your ex on social media can prevent emotional setbacks and promote a healthier recovery” (Lewandowski, 2015).

3. Pay Attention only to Yourself

The best way to feel better after a breakup is associated with caring for yourself. In other words, make sure that you are eating well, exercising regularly, showering continuously, and getting perfect sleep. Pash describes this in beautiful words to calm you

“Redefining your own sense of self and focusing on your independence by reigniting things that are unique and important to you is also comforting,” Pash explains.

It may also be helpful to treat yourself a little bit, too. Getting a massage, a facial, or a manicure can refresh you positively. It will also boost your spirits.

• Following self-care strategies can be helpful to boost your feelings.
  • Listen to your favorite music
  • Listen to a motivational podcast
  • Rearrange or change the e decorations of your room
  • Practice thoughtfulness
  • Read motivational books
  • Aromatherapy
  • Take a relaxing yoga class
• You can also do the shopping for yourself because it can refresh you or minimize your stress. You should buy or wear a new outfit or pair of shoes. Focus on things that boost or entertain you. Do things that bring enjoyment to your life.

“Breakups can be an opportunity for growth and self-exploration”.

Dr. Limon-Rocha

Dr. Limon-Rocha also recommends focusing on caring practices

“Engaging in gratitude exercises can be a highly therapeutic reminder of what is going well. These gratitude exercises can help one live in the moment to help move past the breakup and focus on the present,”

Kristin Neff also motivates on Self-Compassion:

“Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you’d show to a good friend” (Neff, 2011)

4. Find Friends Around You

sometimes, relationships become our primary need for socializing and support. No doubt it is important to spend plenty of time with people who love you care for you or are closest to you. Recall your friends and have happy gossip with them. Here are some suggestions that will help you to help you to knock back into your support network: 

• Spend most of your time with your parent, sibling, or other family member and check in about ways they can support you
• Decide a specific point for dinner or lunch with your friends and tell them about your feelings. It can lessen your mental stress.  
• You can also talk to your roommate to lessen your frustration.
• This can also be the best time to reconnect with yourself. Give some time on who you are outside of your relationships. Make a list of things you’re thankful for in life today. Get back to your hobbies and other sources that can plug life.
  Sherry Turkle highlights the Importance of Real Conversations:

“Face-to-face conversation is the most human—and humanizing—thing we do. Fully present to one another, we learn to listen. It’s where we develop the capacity for empathy” (Turkle, 2015).

5. Make Future Planning

Let’s accept it, nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes in life. No one’s life is without mistakes. So keep in mind that you are not alone who are facing this trouble. We have to understand the role that we have played in our relationship it can be helpful for your future relationships. Learning your mistakes can change your approach to your future relationships. Think back on your time with your ex and learn positive lessons from your mistakes. 

• Are there things that you did or said you are ashamed of? 
• Do you wish that you had handled the situations in another way than you did at the time? 
• What do you want to learn for your future relationships? 

Don’t beat yourself up for your mistakes. Accept the reality that mistakes happen in every relationship in the world. Use your mistakes as an opportunity to improve yourself.

While it’s tempting to hold onto the hope that you will reunite with your ex, the likelihood of that happening is slim in most cases. As a result, you need to accept that the relationship is over and that it’s time to move on.

Gary Lewandowski on Reflecting Post-Breakup:

“Reflecting on what you’ve learned from a relationship can provide valuable insights and help you make more informed choices in future relationships” (Lewandowski, 2015).

6. Admit That It’s Over

Realize that everything is over. If you don’t accept the reality you will stuck in limbo waiting for your ex to come and realize mistakes and errors. If you are waiting that your ex will come or sit with you then it will be more painful for you.

Don’t waste your time thinking and analyzing your mistakes. Dnt think how could you make a change to get back your ex around you. Most breakups come from the people who are not being perfect for each other.

” Pash suggests. “I think that people often judge themselves too harshly for all the things they could have done differently when there is likely nothing wrong with them in the first place.” 

Learn a lesson from your mistakes but don’t wait for your ex. If you keep moving forward you will be closer to the healing process. Take every step that will take you closer to moving forward. You must have to accept that your relationship is over. Be realistic to yourself. Healing after a breakup is not a fast step but continuously working on it can be helpful for your broken heart.

Dr. Limon-Rocha highlights the importance of professional help if you’re struggling to move on after a breakup.

“If one is having difficulty with low energy, low motivation, not finding enjoyment in things that once gave them joy or work performance is being impacted by mood, it may be time to seek more support and care,” she explains.