Why Does My Husband Yell at Me: What to Do & How to Stay Safe?
Marriages face countless challenges. Couples go through many conflicts and by continuous effort they can overcome these conflicts. No doubt it is a matter of great depression when your husband gets angry and yells at you again and again. Yelling could be offensive and abusive and causes emotional stress. When your husband yells at you there can be many reasons behind this behaviour. You have to identify the reasons for yelling and you can overcome these challenges with your effort. Many reasons can help you understand why your husband yells and shouts.
Why Does My Husband Yell at Me?
We have all experienced overwhelming frustration and depression that has resulted in our voices rising to get.
Here are eight most common reasons why your husband may yell at you:
1. He Needs Power & Control
People who want to have powerful control over their wives use various tactics such as yelling and shouting. They want to exert their power on their wives. If your husband has a wish to control you and have power over you he will surely adopt a way to emotional abuse and yelling.
2. His Parents Didn’t Model Healthy Patterns
Parents are role models for their children. If your husband has been neglected by his parents he will also neglect you and your feelings. Mostly our parents and caregivers teach us how to interact with others. Whatever we learn from our caregivers we apply it to others. If your husband is taught about social interaction. If he is not taught good ways to interact with others, he will surely misbehave with others in his relationship. If your husband is being kept ignored in teaching communication skills healthy boundaries emotional expression or taught wrong behaviour unhealthy boundaries or inappropriate communication skills he will surely behave abusively and inappropriately. Notice that if your husband’s family background is abusive he will also surely make an abusive environment at his own home.
3. He Lacks Emotion Regulation
Regulation of emotions is a skill that must be taught in childhood. Regulation of your nervous system is necessary for a healthy and happy environment. Tolerance to your feelings of stress and anger is guidance that must be given to everyone. A person with an unregulated nervous system can never create harmony in relationships. If an individual is unaware of how to his aggression stress and aggression he will always yell at his wife. Such a person with a short temper will surely not be able to manage his emotions.
4. He Has a Distorted View of Gender
Your husband could be a misogynist. He may have a distorted view of gender. Such people don’t respect women’s emotions. They think that only men in the world deserve respect and women don’t. Therefore they yell at their partners because they don’t want to respect them. Notice how your husband is talking about women and pay attention to his attitudes towards gender roles in marriage. If he has misogynist thinking he will surely feel himself superior and his wife inferior therefore he will justify his actions of yelling. If he feels superior he accepts his behaviour of yelling and efforts more for ill treatment.
5. Societal Pressures
Every society claims that men should be strong. This stereotypical thinking makes men rude and abusive. When a man does not express his emotions he becomes aggressive. This aggression leads him to yell and shout. When a man receives the advice that it will be shameful if he displays his emotions this nonsense behavior makes him more nonsense. This pressure of society urges him to be dominant over you. You must understand that your husband may have fallen victim to these social pressures. Therefore his behavior towards you is so aggressive and painful.
6. Yelling Gets Him What He Wants
If your husband is always rewarded for his aggression it becomes habitual for him. Your husband may have learned from experience that aggression is rewarded. Therefore he carries it on. If he has been given respect admiration attention obedience and promotions he will never stop yelling at others. If he gets everything by his yelling he feels proud of his behavior and continues. Thus this behaviour becomes unchangeable for him.
7. He Is Insecure or Feels Threatened
People who are usually ignored or disrespected in their childhood usually adopt abusive and yelling behavior. Some people raise their voices when they want to see a boundary because they think that nothing will be good without yelling. If your husband is threatened or anxious he will resort to yelling to control things which are against his wishes.
Husbands who yell at their wives experience stressful attachment to their parents and therefore yelling becomes their style. The insecure attachment to their parents creates feelings of anxiety jealousy and frantic behavior in them. So they yell at their wives to avoid rejection in every matter.
8. He Is Struggling With Something Personal
You may be struggling with some personal issues. He may be going through something bad at the place where he is working. You must have to notice whether he is experiencing any physical or mental issues or not. The conflict with any friend or family member can also cause him to yell at you. When your husband is struggling with something wrong but he is not expressing it he can lose his temper on you. Financial stress also causes yelling and shouting. Therefore his disappointment and frustration force him to show such a shouting behavior.
What to do when your husband yells at you?
Here are some suggestions for you that you can follow when your husband yells at you.
